Wasting time is a great way to get to know yourself. It's then when your senses go senseless and dip right into the lazy waters. Leaving yourself afloat only makes you dizzy really, but It's still a feeling worth repeating. It's when you finally figure out everything you've done till now was fooling the puppet master into thinking your strings are comfortable, being innocent but still hiding the body's and holding on to the naivety you never had. Into a river or denial and no true consequence, isn't it just the place you wanna swim in? Your life thus far has been selfish deprivation of the true beauty that is life. I pity you. I pity myself. It's the pity and empathy that's the real burden. Oh what a burden. Don't you just want to rest from the rest? Resting as it is has become a burden and a fast paced race to a new fight. Endless and overflowing, the desperation of the mouse caught in a cogwheel, spinning and spinning the great machine. At least your not that blind to think you are doing it for the cheese. There is no cake in the end. The cake has always been a lie. It was always cheese cake and you'll never have it. It's a big conglomerate of thoughts actions and horrid consequences out there, just beyond your window. And what do you do? Sit back and watch the show. What else is there. It's not like you can stand up and make a change. Let's face it. You really can't. It's the great slow tide that rises and falls that makes the world go round. Every spin of the big globe makes you carsick and shows you just how little you are, little mouse. You are a patch, actually. A tiny little patch on the world that spins with or without you. How sad it is that you must crawl away on your path and spend that little moment your flame tingles on the big wax candle we call existence, crawling in the dirt. Is that what you want? The least you can do for yourself, little mouse, tiny patch...is to live. Really find purpose in being that little patch that fills in all the blanks and feel happy about yourself. So there is no need to say yes to little and dream big. Dreams are only colors your mind paints. Pick up the stick and throw it at their faces screaming justice. F*** optimism and good wishes. Lick the back of the stamp and fill in that empty space, wipe away the sweat and send it to the moon.
To hell with it all.
I really don't know if it will work, but it's worth a shot.
Hell, even if it's a shot in the dark.